creator_raven (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
creator_raven) wrote2006-08-05 09:36 pm
creator_raven) wrote2006-08-05 09:36 pm
OOC: Cinderella, as related by Raven
There was a time, I think, when people were particularly inclined to be stupid. Particularly the young. I do not think that has much changed, yes?
Regardless, it is not safe to be sleeping in fireplaces. Stables are much better, even when it is winter. Feathers, too, are helpful. Moreso than ballgowns and shoes that are very fragile. Glass splinters are worse than wood, I think.
The thing to remember is that princes tend to be spotty, and inclined to baldness. It is the problem with in-breeding. There will also be very bad sex; power is not a thing that helps the libido, and small penises are fairly useless.
Similarly, it is difficult to run away with the stableboy when you are queen. There are too many eyes, and you are not allowed to eat the wagging tongues.
Better by far, perhaps, to save time and run away with the stableboy now, yes? He is very pretty.
Also right outside.
Possibly I have cheated, and made the floorboards not creak.
There is a reason you are waiting?
Oh, yes. Here are breeches, and boots, and a very pretty rock. I am fond of red, I think. Also sparkly. And cookies. It is always best to pack cookies, though it is very difficult to carry milk while you are riding a horse.
But now it really is best to be going, yes. I will find you later, and make sure you have not done anything too stupid. Or I will eat your eyeballs.
It takes so very little to make them run away. It is almost irritating.
I'm sure at some point he let the real fairy godmother out of the closet, or out from under the rug. And he probably didn't actually make her magic wand only able to dispense cookies and pithy bits of wisdom and lucky numbers. Honest.
Regardless, it is not safe to be sleeping in fireplaces. Stables are much better, even when it is winter. Feathers, too, are helpful. Moreso than ballgowns and shoes that are very fragile. Glass splinters are worse than wood, I think.
The thing to remember is that princes tend to be spotty, and inclined to baldness. It is the problem with in-breeding. There will also be very bad sex; power is not a thing that helps the libido, and small penises are fairly useless.
Similarly, it is difficult to run away with the stableboy when you are queen. There are too many eyes, and you are not allowed to eat the wagging tongues.
Better by far, perhaps, to save time and run away with the stableboy now, yes? He is very pretty.
Also right outside.
Possibly I have cheated, and made the floorboards not creak.
There is a reason you are waiting?
Oh, yes. Here are breeches, and boots, and a very pretty rock. I am fond of red, I think. Also sparkly. And cookies. It is always best to pack cookies, though it is very difficult to carry milk while you are riding a horse.
But now it really is best to be going, yes. I will find you later, and make sure you have not done anything too stupid. Or I will eat your eyeballs.
It takes so very little to make them run away. It is almost irritating.
I'm sure at some point he let the real fairy godmother out of the closet, or out from under the rug. And he probably didn't actually make her magic wand only able to dispense cookies and pithy bits of wisdom and lucky numbers. Honest.