OOM: In Raven's room

[creator_raven]

It takes Raven a long time to climb the stairs, even with Ace's aid.

He leans against the wall as she opens the door, and almost trips over a chair on his way to the bed.

Then he stands there, staring idly at the blankets, one finger rubbbing back and forth over the material.

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[creator_raven]

Raven is still standing by his bed, eyes distant.

"Ace."

[nitro-is-ace.livejournal.com]

She freezes, his tone making her shiver.

She wants to make all the hurting stop. To make the universe stop hurting her family, damnit.

"Yeah?"

[creator_raven]

"I do not . . "

He trails off.




"This is worse than itching, perhaps."

And still he stands, one finger rubbing at the blanket.

[nitro-is-ace.livejournal.com]

She's at a loss. He's her big brother. He's the strong one.

Hell, he's the one that makes things right.

Not her.

Then there's a soft little knock at the door, and she swings into action again, opening the door to relieve the rat of the massive plate of cookies he's delivered, shutting the door and latching it as an afterthought before swiftly moving to set the cookies on the dresser and grabbing the blanket she left there to drape over her brother's shoulders and hug him, hard.
"C'mon, sit down for me, 'cause you're so much taller an' I can't reach." She tugs him down towards the soft bed, doing her best to hide the worry.

[creator_raven]

He sits, obediently. His movements, though, are still clumsy.

"I had forgotten what it was like, I think."

Raven's voice is hushed, and he looks down at his hands.

Slowly, he touches the tip of each finger with his thumb.

There are four on each hand.

[nitro-is-ace.livejournal.com]

She doesn't understand. Hopefully, she will not need to.

She stretches, only just able to catch the rim of the plate in one hand, carefully lifting it to set it down near the end of the bed, where Raven can reach.

"What what was like, brother?" She asks, with a calmness she most certainly doesn't feel. She's petting his hair now, gentle strokes, for her as much as it is for him to make sure that he's real and Wash is real downstairs and they're all real now and everything is going to be alright in the end.

[creator_raven]

"Being free."

[nitro-is-ace.livejournal.com]

Ace


Just


Stops.

Hedoesn'tmeanitjusttiredjustwornjusttiedherewithnowayoutdoeshewanttoleavehereleaveherleaveeverything


"Oh."

[creator_raven]

He sags against her, then. Heavily.

It takes a moment, but his head comes to rest on her shoulder.








"It is so empty."

One of his hands nudges hers, gently.

[nitro-is-ace.livejournal.com]

She moves automatically to hold him tight, resting her head against his and smelling

cigarettesoldleatherbloodenginesmoke

him, and belatedly wills tears that are already escaping not to fall.

"Wh...what is?"

She's not entirely sure she wants to know.

[creator_raven]

He leans more heavily on her, concentrating on breathing--

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

And the feel of her breath on his hair.

"Outside."

[nitro-is-ace.livejournal.com]

Oh Raven.

She hugs him tighter, if possible, as if by sheer willpower she could help him forget. Or, at the very least, distance himself.

"But it's alright now, everyone's home, or will be, and safe. An'... An'... things can get better now."

Her voice shakes. She takes a moment to try and steady it.

"An' I love you."

[creator_raven]

Raven turns toward her, wrapping his arms loosely around her middle.

"It is good to hear that, yes. Ace."

Some things don't fit in words. If he holds his sister very tightly, well, only she would know. And that is more than all right.


He is still, then, for some small time.




Eventually he stirs, slightly, and reaches for the cookies.

"It can get better, yes. I will do what I may."

[nitro-is-ace.livejournal.com]

That is better already. She goes back to petting his hair, because it is repetative and she can tell herself it's soothing.

Soothing for whom is a question she just doesn't ask.

"Always do. You can glitter them all, when they come back. I don't think they'll mind, then."

When.

Not if.

[creator_raven]

Raven laughs, softly, sharply.

He takes a bite of cookie, and swallows.

"I think I will let them hug Wash, first. And possibly have a few days alone."

There is another pause.




"After that, I think, they are fair game."

He leans into the petting. She is right, it is comforting.

[nitro-is-ace.livejournal.com]

"Oh. Definitely." She takes a cookie for herself, because really, chocolate is needed here. "Jayne should be pink." It is almost wrong, almost painful to be flippent and cheerful when something had just killed her brother, an' her other brother had to do something obviously not at all nice to himself to get him back, and the rest of the crew must be in danger even if they will be alright...

But it is a way of dealing. Of getting up and moving on until it doesn't take effort to do so anymore.

She's learned a few things over the last half-century. How to live. How to survive. How to make surviving worth living. It's just hard, sometimes.

[creator_raven]

Always hard, really.

If you pay attention.

There are reasons Raven is flighty, after all.

"Possibly. Do you think he would also like hair ribbons?"

Raven sounds almost hopeful.

If his face does not quite match that, well, he's still got it buried in her shoulder.

[nitro-is-ace.livejournal.com]

"'Bout as much as he'll like the glitter." Ace allows. And perhaps, if she gently rocks her brother, there is no one here to tell.

There is also no one to tell if she happens to get cookie crumbs in his hair. She brushes them out, anyway.

She just wishes she knew pretty songs, like he sings for her when she's tired and lonely and sad, but she settles for holding him and petting him and loving her dear brother as best she knows how.

[creator_raven]

He continues breathing.







Eventually he reaches up, and rubs at his eyes.

"Ace? I am tired, I think. Will you stay?"

[nitro-is-ace.livejournal.com]

"Always." There isn't a moment of hesitation.

Some things are that easy.

[creator_raven]

Raven smiles, at that.

For all that it's a tired smile, it is a very real one.

With Ace there, it does not take long for Raven to fall asleep.

And though he dreams of the darkness in the space-between, he is not alone.

It is enough.